Pranayama
by Abydosorphan
Summary: Hermiod makes a comment about human mating rituals and Vala gets ideas.
Vala skipped along the hallway of the Prometheus. Daniel and Samantha might be having fun, but if you asked her, this ship was a lot more fun the first time she was on it. She may not have been on Earth a long time, but she'd been with the SGC long enough to know that even the straight-laced military and scientific personnel that manned these ships had a nice little ring of contraband exchanges and unsanctioned gambling groups. If only she could find a game to sit in on.

The sound of hiccups drifted into the hallway, causing Vala to stop her movement and listen.

"That sound is most distressing."

"Trust me, if I could stop it," another hiccup sounded, followed by an annoyed sigh, "I would."

"I fail to see the purpose of such actions."

A strange sigh/hiccup drifted into the hall. "Hermiod," hiccup, "Can we move on and get this project finished," hiccup, "So that I can," hiccup, "present my findings to Colonel Carter," hiccup, "and then maybe I'll relax and they'll go away."

A silence descended on the area and Vala turned to walk away, after all, what was the point in ease-dropping if no one was talking?

Hiccup.

Vala had to bite her lip to suppress a giggle.

"Does this always happen when you get nervous, Doctor Novak?"

Hiccup "Yes, it started when I was a kid."

"Every time you were nervous? No matter what it is about?"

Hiccup, "Yes." Hiccup, "I've tried every method I've heard of to try to stop them," hiccup, "But without fail, every time my nerves get started," hiccup, "so do they." Hiccup, "The more nervous I get," hiccup, "The more often they come." Hiccup, "Oh, for crying out loud!" Hiccup.

"And this has not been alleviated at all over time?"

A muffled sound that Vala took to be a negative response drifted into the hallway.

"When you're preparing reports? Giving lectures? Working on a big project? Personal situations?"

Vala could hear the pauses in between each example and imagined that the woman in the room must be nodding in reply, perhaps holding her breath or breathing into a bag, as her hiccups seemed to be quieted, if not completely silenced.

"Yes, all of them. Personal matters are no less embarrassing than the professional ones."

Vala couldn't be sure, as she had always thought the Asgard didn't have a sense of humor or understand sarcasm, but Hermoid sounded rather sarcastic when he replied, "That must make human mating rituals quite awkward."

Novak's hiccup-interrupted stuttering could be heard as Vala walked off down the hallway. So far the trip had been dull, but if her plan worked out, it was about to get a whole lot more interesting.

* * *

Vala went over the list she had mentally tallied. She had just about everything she needed to test out her little theory, the only thing missing was one, Lindsey Novak.

Perching herself on the edge of a table outside the conference room Vala waited for Novak, Carter, and whoever else might be inside to finish up their little meeting. One finger idly twirled her hair into a curl as she swung her legs and wondered how long they would be.

Before long the door opened and Sam and an easier breathing Lindsey exited the meeting room.

"Vala, I didn't expect to see you here. Is something wrong?" Sam seemed happy though somewhat concerned and serious, but Vala had come to accept that as typical for Sam.

"Everything is fine, Samantha. I just thought I'd stop by and see if you and Lindsey would like to join me for a 'girls night in'."

Hiccup, "Me?"

Sam and Vala both turned to Lindsey, each with a smile on their face, "Why not?"

Hiccup, "Well, I guess, um..." hiccup, "I don't know."

Sam smiled. "It sounds like a lot of fun, Vala, but I'll have to take a rain check. I have a ton of stuff to finish up, but you two go on and have fun. Maybe I'll be able to catch up with you later."

"Oh, Samantha, dear, you work too hard."

With that Vala turned, grabbed Lindsey by the hand and marched off down the hallway. Vala turned as they got on the lift, pulling a protesting and hiccuping Novak with her and saw Sam standing midway down the hall shaking her head and smiling.

"I really do have some," hiccup, "work I should get back to..."

"You know, it's really no wonder you're always so nervous and uptight." A hiccup caused her to pause and examine Lindsey from head to toe before finally coming back to meet her eye. "Is there some sort of rule on Earth that no one filled me in on that says the women need to work so much?"

"Um..." hiccup.

"You and Samantha work more by yourselves than any five men I know, and I know a _lot_ of men."

Exiting the lift when it came to her floor, Vala again pulled Lindsey along.

"What do you do for fun? How do you relax?"

"Um..." hiccup, "I read."

"What?"

"I read." Lindsey replied, trying to quell another hiccup.

"No, no, no, I heard that, silly. What do you read?"

"Um..." hiccup, "Journals, manuals, books..."

"Books on boring things like journal and manual stuff, I bet."

Novak blushed and nodded, her cheeks puffed out as she attempted to quell the hiccups by holding her breath.

"See, you need to let your mind go away from work. You need to read a good, trashy, romance novel or something if you're going to _read_. I gave Sam a few that I was done with. I'm sure she would share them with you."

The hiccups were quieter, but Vala could still make them out, as well as watch Lindsey's chest convulse as she tried to silence and rid herself of the spasm.

Vala entered her temporary quarters and pulled out the bottle of wine she'd arranged earlier. Pouring two glasses she handed one to Lindsey, "Drink."

The command was simple but Vala was surprised by the gusto with which Lindsey followed the order.

"Oh, that's going to go right to your head."

Lindsey swallowed the last gulp and then to a deep, calming breath. "Wow. That was, um..."

"Silly?" Vala offered, as she took the glass and filled it, moving both of them over to the couch.

"Warm."

"Hmmm... Not the way I ever thought to describe wine." Vala stared at her glass wondering if it held some deep secret that it was keeping from her.

The two sat in silence for a few moments.

"They seem to have-"

Lindsey's hand shot up stalling her. "It's better not to remark on it."

"Or what? They'll-"

Hiccup.

"You're kidding?"

Lindsey shook her head, a forlorn expression on her face.

"You really do need to just relax."

"That's easier said, than done."

Vala stretched out on the couch. "Not really, you just need to know _how_."

Lindsey took a sip of the wine, hiccuped, and took a deep breath. "You're saying that I don't know how to relax?"

"Yup."

The stare she was leveled with was speculative. "What do you suggest?" Her voice had an air of defeat about it.

"First off, put the wine down." Lindsey did as instructed. "Now, close your eyes and steady your breathing as best you can."

With the exception of the steady jump to her chest, Lindsey followed the instructions flawlessly.

"Second, take deep breaths, keeping your eyes closed," Vala watched as Lindsey tensed a bit as she moved closer, her breath cascading over the other woman's cheek as she spoke. "Pick something pleasing to focus on," her voice lilted right into Lindsey's ear and there was a brief gasp-hiccup combo, "something nice, something you enjoy, something having nothing to do with work, or stress, or tension."

"Third..." Vala's lips leaned in and claimed Lindsey's, her hand wrapping around the back of her neck to hold her in place. The small gasp providing just the opportunity that Vala needed to sweep her tongue across the threshold of her lips and into her mouth.

Lindsey's hand moved up to cup the back of Vala's head, her fingers entwining in Vala's long hair as a soft gentle moan emanated from her throat.

When they broke Lindsey's eyes remained closed, her lips pressed firmly together before she slowly licked them, her breathing coming in slow, steadied inhalations.

Vala sat there, waiting, listening, but nothing came. When Lindsey did open her eyes she smiled, her cheeks a slight pink, though whether from embarrassment or arousal Vala wasn't sure.

"Better?"

Lindsey nodded, "Much." She tilted her head slightly to the side, "Your theory seems to have some merit, Ms. Mal Doran."

"Is that so?" There was something about the devious twinkle in the other woman's eye that Vala liked.

"Yes. I think it definitely needs further testing."

"It does..." Vala smiled, "I've always wanted to wear one of those hot little lab coats."


End file.
